ICONS OF HOPE: Cecile Guidote-Alvarez

Cecile Guidote-Alvarez
Founder, Philippine Educational Theater Association (PETA)
Producer & Host, Balintataw radio program (DZRH)
Director, Earthsavers Dreams Ensemble – UNESCO Artist for Peace

“Age is not a hindrance to learning and healing.”

I had breast cancer twice. The first one, in 1991, affected my right breast. That time was really traumatic for me. When initially informed by our family doctor after a thorough exam that I had cancer, he wanted immediate response. Nagalit nga ako. I couldn’t believe it! I told him, “This can’t be — I have so many things to do. You have to give me more time, Doc. I haven’t even prayed on this yet.” The poor doctor was bewildered. I begged him not to tell my husband because I wanted to deal with this much later. But word got out anyway. To get a second opinion elsewhere, I was sent to Hongkong for a stereotactic core biopsy. I was bluntly told by the Chinese doctor I had 3 years to live and warned me to have mastectomy without delay, latest by the end of December and so we did. We had good doctors, but chemo was so difficult and quite toxic for me that the doctor had to cut it short.

When I was first diagnosed, my husband Sonny (Senator Heherson Alvarez) was totally discombobulated. But it wasn’t long before he took charge — he ordered everything that needed to be ordered, made sure that I went to every appointment, etc. Sonny and my daughter accompanied me to NYC for treatment at Sloan Kettering, while our son took charge of getting our home ready for my return. Professionally, I was the director in the family, but this time, Sonny was directing my life, and I allowed myself to be totally directed by him.

In 2022, a second cancer developed in my left breast. In a way, treatment this time was “easier” for me because I was prescribed a chemo pill instead. What made that period difficult was that Sonny was no longer around. He succumbed to COVID-19 in April 2020. I contracted COVID in March that time (in fact, I had COVID twice), he brought me to the hospital but they kept him though well since he was near me. Sadly, we were kept in separate rooms. And because it was the time of pandemic isolation, my children and I never got to see him or talk to him. The next time we saw him, ashes na. I was stunned in absolute grief, heartbroken.

Bringing me to the hospital, Sonny said “We were going to grow old together, enjoy our grandchildren”. We were even planning to finally have a public church wedding, go on a cruise, while also not abandoning our work in climate change, peace, and sustainable goals. (We were married in secret in 1972— matrimonia de conciencia — because Sonny was in hiding as the regime had declared Martial Law and had begun arresting the opposition. He had a shoot to kill order.) So, when I had the second cancer, that just deepened the agony of the loss. The devoted care of my husband was no more.

I learned and gained a few things from these experiences with cancer.

1) Even with Sonny no longer around, I believe in the existence of some connectivity. The absence is not really an absence — there is a residual presence and, somehow, that gives me strength and courage. I keep his ashes in a necklace I wear daily.

2) I also learned the discipline that was necessary to beat cancer. Wala akong paki noon, yun pala napakahalagang maging mas disiplinado. For instance, I was drinking soft drinks even for breakfast before. Not anymore!

3) Kaya ko kahit ang daming challenges. The Lord is my sword and shield and Sonny is my special angel.

4) These challenges deepened my faith even more. (Funny side story: I received all these religious medallions, which I kept close by pinning them to my bra. That became my habit. One day, at the airport, the metal detector kept going off but we couldn’t figure out why since I thought I had removed every metal object I had (necklace, watch) until I remembered that I had all these metal medallions pinned to my bra. I got some chiding from my family then.)

5) I learned to listen to my doctors. Hindi na ako nakikipag-debate. I have an obligation to my children and grandchildren, our artistic family to stay healthy.

6) I keep my mind active. Education doesn’t end until you are in the grave. Even if you are aging, you have your memory to stay passionate. You have to keep your conviction about things you believe in and those that matter most to you. No surrender.

Early detection is the best. And when you get diagnosed, an immediate response is important; no delay. Kasi oras na pinatagal mo, lalong malala, lalong walang pag-asa. Samantala kung aagapan, mas makatutulong sa pagpapagaling. I get it — talagang nakakatakot at iniisip mo may mga kailangan ka pang gawin. But, really, when it strikes you, you have to be in emergency mode. Huwag na magmatigas. Don’t be stubborn. Listen to people who have successfully survived cancer. Listen to people with new expertise.

#ICSat25
#SurvivorStories

Photos by: Jimmy Hermogenes and TJ Davocol

Icons of Hope is a social media campaign that features cancer survivors who share their own stories, learnings and the lives they now live. It is part of ICANSERVE Foundation’s 25th anniversary celebration in collaboration with Camera Club of the Philippines. With thanks to Owen Santos and Zonia Bandoy.